Entitled
by Sue-Drae
Summary: The sequel to "The Sea Traveler." Uzumaki Suki has been banished from Konoha but that isn't the worst of her problems. Facing long-term separation from Jiraiya and her other friends, she must make the most of her time as a wandering-nin. Danzo, however, won't let things rest that easily. Jiraiya/OC
1. Chapter 1

For the first time in what felt like months, I woke up with a smile and snuggled closer to my own personal space heater. Strong arms wrapped around me and the chest I was currently using as a pillow rose and fell with a contented sigh. Jiraiya didn't fully wake up, though, and I busied myself with memorizing the softer lines his face took on when he slept as the worry and tension that plagued him in wakefulness could finally ebb away.

It took just a few moments for me to decide to not bother going back to sleep. The time I had with Jiraiya was limited, even almost twelve years after I left Konoha. Until my name was taken off of the active threat list- a boon I wasn't to be granted until the normal fifteen year period with no malicious intent aimed at Konoha or her allies- I couldn't bring myself to let my relationship with Jiraiya well known. He was a hero of the Leaf and I was one of their darkest secrets. Even though I had been cleared of all charges for the attempted murder of the man who had organized the deaths of eleven of my closest friends and family, I was still banished for attacking Shimura Danzo. In a sham of a case, I was banished from Konoha without trial and without hope of regaining the asylum I'd been offered during the war.

The result meant that I could only see Jiraiya when he was on a mission and, though his leash had been loosened so that he could fully establish his spy network, we had to be careful not to get seen together.

I shifted, pulling myself up and captured Jiraiya's lips with my own. A deep throaty chuckle escaped me as his arms shifted around me before I was suddenly on my back, wrists pinned lightly to either side of my head while Jiraiya returned the kiss enthusiastically. His long hair fell around us in a curtain, letting only miniscule beams of the early morning's light to reach us.

"I could definitely get used to that," he said with a smirk, breaking the kiss but hardly moving away. I rolled my eyes, desperate to keep the mood light despite what he knew I was thinking. _You won't have a chance to._

"Pervert," I shot at him jokingly. He only grinned jauntily.

"And you wouldn't have me any other way." His right hand shifted from my right wrist to my face, caressing my cheek gently before tracing down my jaw and gently bringing my chin up so our lips met once more. The kiss was softer and loving, betraying all of the feelings neither of us could quite get into words. Those three little words everyone else seemed content utilizing just didn't seem to capture enough of the emotion behind what I felt for Jiraiya or he for me. We'd been through far too much, together and separately, to be able to define our relationship as a simple love.

True to his self-made stereotype, Jiraiya's hand shifted none-too-subtly from my chin to drift down to the bottom of my shirt, slipping under the fabric and slowly inching his way back up until I rolled my eyes.

"What?" he asked, mock wounded as his hand retreated. I only grinned, twisted both of us so that he was sprawled powerlessly beneath me. Judging by the look in his eyes, he was perfectly fine with that.

"Only because you're _my_ pervert," I laughed against his lips, smirking with satisfaction when a groan escaped his teeth as my hands danced further down his torso.

"So I was thinking..." Jiraiya began as he walked into the room. His voice drifted away when he spotted me on the couch. I chuckled, nursing a cup of tea as I lounged out on the small sofa wearing my trench coat, opened just enough for the man to see what I _wasn't_ wearing under the trench coat. Jiraiya's eyes studied me like a hawk, probably trying to decide whether it was a better idea to take advantage of my barely-dressed state or to finish what he had begun to say.

To my disappointment, he actually threw his hands into the air and groaned, turning around ever so slightly.

"I swear, you'll be the death of me," he moaned. I raised an eyebrow, trying to determined whether or not I should be offended. Before I could make up my mind, I was suddenly very _not_ alone on the couch. My teacup found itself shattered on the floor but I couldn't bring myself to care as my hands were busied with other, more important things.

I traced circles lightly on Jiraiya's stomach, humming contentedly to myself before glancing up at his face. His eyes were closed and a smile was playing at his lips but I knew he wasn't sleeping as he leaned against the bed's headboard. Peaceful as he looked, there was still an underlying tension around his eyes, a worry that he could not dispel.

In hindsight, I should have let him finished when he made to tell me something. If he was thinking, it was either something that would make me very happy or very upset so, in either case, I really needed to hear it sooner rather than later. When my lazy circles slowed to a stop, Jiraiya frowned with concern.

"What is it?"

"You wanted to tell me something," I reminded him, pulling myself up to a seated position to sit next to him. I drew the sheet up with me, wrapping it about my shoulders. The cool breeze drifting in from the window felt good on my feverish skin but I needed Jiraiya able to think clearly, something I couldn't exactly be promised if I wasn't fully clothed.

"I did, didn't I?" He frowned lightly, trying to remember. After a moment of thought, his face lit up. "I think I found a way to get you off of the active list."

Damn my luck.

I didn't want to lie to Jiraiya so I allowed myself to bite my lip cautiously.

"Jiraiya... Even if I'm removed from the active threat list-" Jiraiya's eyes hardened momentarily and I regretted my use of the word 'threat'. He tried to avoid it whenever possible. "Even if I was removed, I still can't return to Konoha as an active duty kunoichi... What would I do if I couldn't go on missions? Sit at home, twiddle my thumbs, and worry until you get back from whatever you get sent on?"

"Suki." His eyes betrayed his desperation even more than his voice. "I... I can't let you do this to yourself anymore. It's breaking you, and you can't even-"

"I can see it," I murmured softly, interrupting him. I glanced down. "But going back to Konoha won't help that."

"Then come _home_. Not to Konoha, or the Council. Come back to Genki, to the corps. Come home to _me_." My heart skipped a long beat before threatening to crack just a little further as I looked up, only to see my own brokenness reflected in Jiraiya's eyes. "Please... It's not home without you there. It hasn't been home for twelve years."

"The Council-" Jiraiya was never one to be deterred by logic, however. It's one of the things that made me love him but, at times like this, I just wanted to throttle him.

"To hell with the Council!" Jiraiya snapped, eyes never leaving mine as they filled with indignation. "They never gave you a trial! They had no right to sentence you! Sarutobi-sensei said-"

"Three years, Jiraiya," I plead. "That's all that's left. If I get anywhere close to Konoha until then, it'll be another ten years if I'm lucky and life in an ANBU-guarded cell if I'm not. I need you to cooperate with protocol for that much longer. Please."

Jiraiya was silent for a long time, eyes very deliberately averted from me. When he finally returned my gaze, his eyes were hard.

"Eight years," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "Do you understand what those eight years were like for me? I watched Tsunade walk away. I watched Shimura Danzo be hailed as a saint for surviving an attack _he_ instigated. I watched people celebrate because you were banished."

"Jiraiya-"

"No!" he interrupted, almost yelling now. "I stayed in Konoha because that is what _you_ wanted, Suki, so what else could I do? I sat home and twiddled my thumbs, sick with worry because I knew that Root's hunters would be out for blood!"

"I had at least a week's head start," I countered weakly.

"I had no idea where you were, if you were even _alive_ or not... You know sensei's got me teaching genin now? I took on an apprentice from last year's class, Namikaze Minato, because he asked if I could teach him fuinjutsu so he could get into the Corps. And Kushina- your _niece_\- she's a genin now. Do you want to know what Genki had to tell her when you couldn't be at her graduation?"

My blood ran cold.

"Do you think I didn't want to be there?" Jiraiya paused at my tone. I almost did the same. "Do you think that I _willingly_ missed so much of her life? It was your sensei that told me not to risk coming, Jiraiya! Not _me_. I wanted to wait with Genki in that hospital. I wanted to hold my niece and tell her that Suki-oba would always be there to protect her because I failed _my_ imouto. I couldn't, though! And I've written that girl dozens of letters- _hundreds!_\- for her because I want her to know that this _wasn't_ my choice. I want to be part of her life, part of my own family again, but I will stay away if it's a risk for me to come within twenty miles of the village!"

Jiraiya paled very suddenly.

"Sensei?" he echoed, eyes distant. "But-"

I regretted mentioning Sarutobi the moment Jiraiya's argument derailed.

"I'm sorry." I swallowed, looking down once more. "I know that the situation leaves much to be desired... But we're almost done, Raiya. Three more years and-"

"And then what? Will we stop making excuses? Will we stop putting things off and hoping for a good day tomorrow? Keep meeting in seedy towns and hope no one recognizes us? Keep praying that neither us gets themselves killed while we're apart?"

"I don't know! Are you happy?" I asked exasperatedly. After a long silence, Jiraiya, to my surprise, actually beamed, no sign of anger in his eyes.

"That would depend," he asked, a devious smile playing at his lips.

"On?" I asked suspiciously. Jiraiya actually cleared his throat before glancing at the arrays of seal's he'd tattooed onto his left arm with my help. Finding a small storage seal, he released the seal and toss a small box my way. Upon catching the square box, my eyes widened and my jaw fell open just a little bit.

"It doesn't have to be three years, Suki. You just have to say yes and you can see Kushina tomorrow."

I opened the small box and became unsure what sparkled more: Jiraiya's grin or the small diamond resting in a layered band of silver and gold (A/N: Look up Oria Mokume Gane engagement ring if you want to see a picture).

"Are you kidding me?"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you, NinjaChipmunk, for letting me know about the issue with reading the chapters! Hopefully you can read them easier now :)

Let me get this straight. I loved Jiraiya more than I thought was healthy. I loved the idea of marrying him. I didn't love the idea that he was doing this for some loophole that would let me back into Konoha and I _definitely_ didn't like that his idea of a proposal was tossing me the box and putting visitation to Kushina on the line. The fact that the most either of us was wearing was a thin sheet didn't help much in the romantic department either.

"No. Last I checked, I am definitely _not_ kidding." Jiraiya's eyes pierced mine until I could finally manage to pull my gaze away. Unfortunately, the only other place my eyes would find was at the small box still resting in my hand. "What's wrong?"

"... What do you expect me to do? Cry and stammer out yes as you slide the ring onto my finger? Then we hop off to Konoha to let your sensei know that you slipped your way around his law and the Council's decision by getting hitched?"

"No!" Jiraiya said, backpedalling quickly. "This isn't just about the list... This is me willing to dedicate everything of me you don't already have to you. I'm yours, Suki. Just let me be selfish and have you."

"We were arguing less than five minutes ago," I reminded him flatly. He pressed onward.

"And now I hope we're not, because I just proposed and it would be kind of awkward if we're still arguing," he said with that cocky grin of his. I wanted to shake my head and explain to him what was wrong about the progression of events but we'd never have a 'normal' way of doing things. I guessed I loved that too, otherwise I would have tried leaving by now. I'd never leave him, though.

The nondescript ring sitting in my palm just made everything seem so final, though. I knew- I'd known for years now- that Jiraiya was the other half of me. I couldn't quite be complete without him, no matter what I did. I wasn't going to turn around and stop loving him but _marriage_ seemed so sudden and real. That life I always wanted to be able to have with him might be possible but-

But I was thinking too much, wasn't I?

How many times had I wondered over those eight years what could have happened if I hadn't left Konoha or, more accurately, if Konoha hadn't left me? What could have happened between Jiraiya and I? Did I always hope we'd have a happy ending? Of course. Did I hope we'd get old together? Within reason. I was willing to accept that we were ninja, though, and deaths in the field are reasonably common even in peacetime.

So what the hell was I doing now?

"I won't marry you to get back into Konoha, Jiraiya," I said as gently as I could, closing the box so I wouldn't have to look at the ring. "I want to marry you because you love me as much as I love you..."

"But I do!" Jiraiya protested.

"Then show me that. Do this properly." I laid the small box on the bed, inches from his hand, and tried to ignore the hurt in my lover's eyes. I reached for his hand with the same movement, grasping it tightly. "I want to come home to you, Raiya, but I don't want to be able to because of a loophole..."

"Then I'll stay with you." It sounded much more concrete than just an offer and I tightened my grip on his hand, bringing it up so I could brush a kiss to his knuckles.

"If things were different... But you have obligations to Konoha. You have an _apprentice_, Jiraiya."

"He's a talented kid. He'll be snatched up by any jounin worth his salt." I dropped his hand. An apprenticeship was nothing to take for granted. I trusted my shishou with my life, with my mind. When I made my first kill and couldn't sleep for weeks, he watched over me to keep the nightmares away. When I first took in my Kushina, he- with much false indignation and bravado- helped me take care of her when she was sick. He taught me what it meant to be a shinobi, how to lead a team but, more importantly, follow a good leader. He showed me that mercy wasn't a weakness and that I could be kind and still be a good warrior. He was the father I never had.

"And, if you leave, how much longer can Konoha stay out of war? I travel and fight for a living, you can't lie to me and say that the border skirmishes are relaxing. They're getting worse and worse. War'll be declare in _weeks_ if it doesn't improve fast."

"Orochimaru-"

"Is just one man," I interrupted. "One person can't save a village from destruction. I should know." I scoffed, feeling that old bitterness rising before I managed to shove it down again. "Konoha needs to be able to look to its legends and you're one of the only ones it has left."

"If the village needs its legends, then the Umi Ryokou should be greeted back with open arms."

"The Umi Ryokou was never a symbol of Konoha, Jiraiya. Everything about me screams Uzushio. And that's fine. I don't want to forsake Uzushio like the rest of the world has."

"You don't need to forsake it!" Jiraiya insisted. My fists clenched.

"I don't need to?" I asked, dangerously quiet. Jiraiya winced at my tone but wisely remained silent. "Don't lie to me or to yourself. If I ever want to get into Konoha as a kunoichi, I would need to be totally and completely loyal to Konoha. I could have no allegiance to my former comrades. The Uzushio my friends and family died for would be forgotten."

"Suki-"

"If you're going to try to convince me so more, you might as well go back to Konoha now. Go back to your apprentice."

I pulled the sheet closer around me and, standing from the bed, walked to the bathroom to get dressed. When I came out, there was no sign that Jiraiya had even been there. The only indication was the small square box left on the foot of the bed.

Jiraiya was wrong. I wasn't breaking, not now. I was already broken.


	3. Chapter 3

I found myself panting as I stared into the deadened eyes of Ieshi Maku. My latest mark was a missing-nin from Suna, one of the last recorded survivors from a small clan. His clan had been almost annihilated by order of the Kazekage when it came to light that their kekkai genkai was only fully realized through a very specific set of rituals. A clan that gets power through self-mutilation, trust betrayal, and- very occasionally- cannibalism was bad press for any village. In an age were the world was already one kunai short of war, clients were few and far between and no amount of bad press was allowable. As a result, the Ieshi clan was scattered to the wind.

Ieshi Maku was recorded in the Bingo Book as an A-ranked missing-nin but, given the trouble he had caused me, he was definitely bordering S-rank. Though he specialized in ninjutsu, specifically wind, he didn't survive this long by slouching off in his other abilities. The fact that he survived so long despite being blind in one eye and missing the index and pinkie fingers on his left hand thanks to the rituals of his clan only spoke more of his ability to punch his way out of trouble.

I wasn't the first hunter to try to take Maku down but I was the last. For some reason, however, he wasn't too keen on the idea of being taken down. Unfortunately for him, I was rather insistent.

"Masochistic bastard," I said with a soft sigh, finally able to just breathe. The fight had taken much more out of me than any in recent memory, earning me more than just a few scrapes, but I needed to get out of dangerous territory before anyone spotted me, injuries or no. I was closer to Konohagakure than I'd been in years, barely thirty miles from the walls, and I couldn't risk a misunderstanding. If anything, Jiraiya would be unbearable if I got myself dragged back to Konoha in chains after I specifically told him that I'd only return after the fifteen year period was up.

I sealed the missing-nin's body into one of the black labeled corpse scrolls I always carried with me now and prepared to get some more distance between myself and Konoha. Just my luck, however, I was joined in the medium sized clearing that had been created by Maku's wind techniques. I recognized the animalistic masks in a heartbeat.

ANBU. Shit!

None of the three made to attack or detain me and I sincerely hoped that they were waiting for me to talk instead of trying to figure out a battle plan.

"ANBU-san," I greeted, looking to the one in the middle, taking point. "Sorry for the clearing. Ieshi Maku-san wasn't very pleased to see me," I explained, holding up the corpse scroll for them to see. None of the ANBU made a sound. Tired of the one-sided conversation, I placed the corpse scroll back into one of my trench coat's many pockets and prepared to turn. But again, I wasn't so lucky to get a clean getaway.

"Uzumaki Suki, you have been banished from Konohagakure. Explain your presence so close to our village." The lead ANBU shunshined behind me, blocking my path with his tanto. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"ANBU-san, I would very much appreciate it if you lowered your weapon. I made no move against you and don't plan on attacking. I tracked down Ieshi Maku, a missing-nin from Sunagakure, to this clearing and had just finished battling him. If you had arrived ten minutes earlier, you could have seen him trying rather hard to kill me, if you couldn't tell by my various injuries. I defeated and killed him, sealing his body inside of a corpse scroll so that I can collect the bounty."

"Why did you stop Ieshi-san from going to Konoha? Perhaps he simply wanted asylum," the ANBU challenged in a monotone. I refused to lose my temper over this.

"This man was convicted by his home village of Suna on over twenty counts varying from sexual assault, homicide, aggravated assault, and cannibalism but escaped execution by intentionally chopping off his own finger and killing two medical nin, three orderlies, and two unarmed civilians in his mad dash from the hospital. I apologize if Konoha wanted this man as an asset but hutning down escaped criminals such as Ieshi has been my career for over a decade now. If Konoha is interesting in attaining assets such as Ieshi Maku, I recommend that it sends an alert to any active hunter nin to deliver the criminals directly to your doorstep. I'm sure then we could avoid these misunderstandings in the future."

"Or you could abide by the laws of your banishment and stay out of Hi no Kuni. By Konohagakure law, you are under arrest for-"

"Konohagakure's banishment laws grant allowance to banished parties to enter Hi no Kuni with the exception of a thirty mile radius surrounding Konoha in the course of business."

"Business," the ANBU repeated. "Not the murder of-"

"I am a trained kunoichi, not a civilian merchant. Bounty hunting is my business, ANBU-san. Now, can you please lower your tanto?"

His grip shifted but did not loosen. I could feel his eyes on me through his mask and I bit back a curse as his two comrades shunshined to my flanks, one already drawing kunai and the other shifting through hand seals.

There was no way I could win in this situation. Any move I make to defend myself would classify as a move against Konoha, meaning an extension to my banishment. Not defending myself against three ANBU and not getting myself killed would be difficult enough on a good day; today, just after a hard fight, roughed up, and running dangerously low on chakra, the odds were definitely not in my favor.

I could let them bring me in... Or I could fight, kill them, and frame Ieshi. In a sense, that was probably my best option; he was already convicted and accused of some much that another three deaths wouldn't surprise anyone and he was definitely strong enough to pull it off. The trouble was that I didn't know if I could bring myself to kill these ANBU.

I didn't have any more time to think, though, as I all but hit the dirt to avoid the tanto aimed at my neck. As I rolled away, creating a shadow clone some yards away to replace myself with and buy some distance, that thought stood out to me.

"Konoha prides itself on a lot of things. Something it abhors is senseless violence. You're going for the kill when I haven't done anything wrong and, if I had, the harshest punishment legally available for me would be execution by order of the Sandaime. Since none of you even mention Sarutobi... That conniving bastard!" I growled.

No Konoha ANBU would go for the kill, at least not a standard ANBU. That meant that these three were not standard ANBU. And I had thought I had seen the last of Root when I all but massacre them all those years ago.

"I guess Danzo never runs out of orphans to twist and bend into his own little army," I spat, disgusted. "Are the first graduating class since my banishment or has he been churning out puppets all this time?"

My opponents didn't answer but I didn't expect them to.

Them being Root gave me more options, though. I could defend myself against them simply because Danzo couldn't acknowledge their existence. If they died or were hurt, no one could know so how could I be punished for it?

I drew my own kunai, skillfully wrapping an tag of my own making about the handle and activating the timer with my chakra, throwing the kunai straight up into the air. I flew into hand seals as quickly as I could, knowing exactly how narrow my window was before-

I slammed my hands on the grass and symbols spread out in jagged lines that then bloomed into tiny, perfect circles that surrounded me protectively. Glimmering with blue and orange light, I was enclosed in a perfect bubble as the tag on my kunai finally activated, sparking violently before raining down arcs of blue and white lightning on the entire cleaning. I was exhausted by the barrier seal but, as the three Root dropped dead, it was well worth it.

I staggered away from the scene, trying to get out of the area before any real ANBU showed up to investigate. I made it almost fifteen miles before the black spots around my peripheral vision began to multiply, clouding over my vision, and the dull ache sharpened and spread throughout my body.

My body was beginning to shut down but I didn't have time to make camp. All I could do was fall against a tree and hope I was far enough away from that damn clearing as my pulse roared in my ears before there was nothing but the dark.


	4. Chapter 4

"It was close... Very close," I murmured, only allowing the blonde in front of me to see the concerned light in my eyes. "If I had been intercepted-"

"You weren't and you're not going to let that happen any time soon," Tsunade said just as quietly into her small saucer, nursing her sake as we caught up. Shizune was getting settled into the hotel room Tsunade had rented for the week, probably already begging the clone I'd sent with her for training, and left the two of us alone to order some well-deserved drinks.

After a short silence, I finally drained the last of my drink and looked seriously at my blonde friend.

"I need you to do me a favor," I confessed. Tsunade's eyes darkened before I could begin to explain.

"You know I don't do that anymore."

"It's not _that_. I just... I need a check-up. My chakra control has been fuzzy for the past couple of weeks but until the fight with Ieshi I didn't really care. That fight should have been over and done with in ten minutes, Tsu-chan, but it took me nearly half an hour to put the punk down! And, even then, he nearly won!"

"Your control is failing?" Tsunade asked seriously. Losing chakra control for any ninja was very dangerous. Aside from the general increased waste of chakra when performing jutsu, it also became harder for me to hide my chakra signature if I had to spend more concentration on the practice. As an almost-missing nin who spent her days bounty hunting, the inability to hide would quickly get me killed. "Any other symptoms?"

"None that immediately come to mind, no. I haven't been sick in years, thanks to my proximity to the All Seal. No serious injuries aside from what Ieshi or the Root managed to inflict."

"Okay. I'm sure Shizune would like to have a real patient," Tsunade joked. I rolled my eyes, knowing just how true that was.

Tsunade's eyes followed her apprentice's deft hands as Shizune went through the motions of the check-up, keeping up a steady stream of conversation until I found myself unable to respond to a very basic question.

Kunoichi weren't generally concerned about something as trivial as a missed period. There were a number of reasons that could explain why the cycle was interrupted, the most common of which being the body's natural tendency to stop ovulating if the body was too heavily worked. With the level of exercise and fitness a kunoichi had to keep up, it was almost rare for one to become pregnant simply because many couldn't, at least temporarily, _get_ pregnant. A number of kunoichi, as a preventative measure in preparation for seduction missions, also utilized contraceptive seals or even the hormone medications that were popular amongst civilians.

The sheer improbability of it all had me staring wide eyed at Tsunade as she looked just as blankly back at me.

"No." But I couldn't deny it if it was true. If I was- If I was _pregnant_, there was no way it was anyone's but Jiraiya's. Jiraiya's. I had to tell him. But only if we were sure. Were we sure?

"We'll need to test you now, Suki... If there's even a chance..." Tsunade's voice drifted off under her breath as her eyes narrowed. "May I?"

"Yes," I answered at once. Shizune shifted out of her master's way, giving Tsunade direct access to me. Her hands glowed with chakra as Tsunade drew a very slow path from my sternum down my torso. Her hands tensed between my hips before the chakra faded away. Tsunade's hands brushed her hair back unnecessarily, a nervous tick. I didn't even need to hear her say it to know.

I was pregnant.


	5. Chapter 5

I wasn't allowed to be at the negotiation on Yahiko's orders. While he didn't suspect anything unsavory, it was agreed upon by the my former students that, in the case that something _did_ take place, a battlefield was no place for a woman that was almost to term. As a result, I was left back at that little wooden house once more with my usual entourage- Shinai, Zaku, and Kagona.

"Sit down, Suki-san," Shinai ordered, her voice deceptively polite. I resisted the urge to growl.

"I'm thirsty." And I was. I'd been on week-long hunts tracking bastards through the Kami-forsaken deserts of Kaze no Kuni and I still couldn't recall a time in which I'd been so parched.

"Geez. The little sucker's bleeding you dry, Uzu-oba," Kagona smirked. The smirk slipped very quickly off of her face when Shinai turned to look at her, that unnervingly polite smile never moving off of her delicate features.

"Zaku-san, please retrieve a glass of water for Suki-san," Shinai enunciated carefully. Zaku didn't dare complain or whine as he would have had anyone else issued the order. For the tyrant of a medic nin that was assigned to me, he simply straightened up in a mock salute before marching out towards the kitchen. I could have sworn I saw the relief on his face as he ducked out into the hall as he was free from Shinai for even a few minutes.

"Kagona-san, could you-" Shinai's voice cut off abruptly and she leapt to her feet. It was clear why; a desperate flair of chakra echoed towards them from the distance. "The meeting!"

I was on my feet, grabbing my weapons and preparing to race to my students, but my path was barred. Shinai stood in the doorway, arms flung out as if I would attempt to duck under her. If her arms had been down, I might have. Zaku was back in a second, his rough hands surprisingly gently on my shoulders as Kagona carefully gripped my tanto, pulling it away from me.

"You are in no condition for battle, Suki-san," the medic said, her usually cool tone surprisingly sharp with command. "Yahiko-sama and the others are strong. They shall be fine. Now please, return to your seat. Kagona-san and Zaku-san shall ensure that we are safe here. Your priority and mine is the safety of the little one."

I was suddenly reminded of how dry my mouth was as a rush of panic flitted through my mind. _The baby._ Would I really have gone onto the battle? What would happen if I did? Or, just as terrifying, what will happen if I don't?

I knew the Ame orphans as well as any and better than most. They were strong. Jiraiya and I had made them strong. They weren't just soldiers though; they were family. I had already lost Jiraiya in too many ways- I didn't think I could handle losing any more of my family.

"Zaku," I begged, looking to the man. He looked at me with a degree of seriousness that was odd to the ever-smiling man. "Please."

After a long moment, he exchanged a glance with Kagona, who nodded. Then, sighing, he turned his eyes toward Shinai.

"The house is well protected. Kagona will make sure no one gets close. I'll go see what's happening and help if I can. Kags, do _not_ let her so much as twitch," Zaku ordered solemnly. Kagona nodded, her eyes dark, and Zaku nodded at Shinai. Then he was gone, swallowed up by the rain. Before the front door closed completely, I could hear the distant explosions and I was forced to swallow down a lump that started to form in my throat.

_They'll be okay. They'll be okay. They'll be oh-_

An awful pain ripped through my abdomen and, as I started to fall backwards, I could only see Kagona's fearful and shocked eyes as I cried out.

Echoes of the outside explosions rang painfully in my head as I realized, in one hideous moment, that the baby was coming and it was coming _now_.

_Fuck._

* * *

Time blurred together. As a kunoichi, I'd been exposed to tons of pain. My shishou had a slightly sadistic sense of humor that he was all too willing to lay on his impressionable apprentice. Even with my history and scars, nothing I've ever felt could be compared to childbirth. I had heard rumors, but they paled in comparison. It was a wonder how civilian women- who had no reason to have pain tolerance training- even survived the process and dared have more than one child.

The pain was good for one thing: keeping my mind off of the battle happening just over the ridge. It wasn't for several hours later, when I was half-delirious with pain and exhaustion, that I even had enough sense to ask for details. I couldn't bring myself to ask about the war, though, because I found myself entranced by the most beautiful little face, sleeping sweetly in my arms. With the exception of the shock of red hair atop her head, the babe was a carbon copy of her father.

_A daughter. A daughter_.

Jiraiya and I had a little girl.

I was a mother. Jiraiya was a _father_. Some part of me wanted to laugh at that. He would be such a great father...

With thoughts of my love tossing his beloved little girl into the air and giving her that genuine smile he reserved for the truly important people in his life, I allowed myself to drift off to sleep. The war drifted out of my mind, leaving only my daughter's face behind.

I couldn't sleep forever, though.

I woke up to chaos. My daughter, still not yet, was crying and screaming. I was reaching out for her before I even opened my eyes but, to my happiness, Shinai gave her to me quickly. Glancing over at Shinai before allowing myself to get distracted with the baby, I realized how blank her face was, how her eyes were rimmed with red. A heavy weight settled in my stomach. I recognized that weight as dread.

"Who?" I asked quietly, my voice shaking with even just one word.

"Yahiko-sama," Shinai reported softly. She brushed hair out of her face- one of her few nervous habits- and cleared her throat. "There are wounded. I have to..."

"Go," I finished when the medic's voice drifted off. Shinai was a professional, but Yahiko had been her rock. She had been found by the beloved leader when her civilian teacher was killed in the war's crossfire. She had been training to be a civilian doctor but, when she was taken in by the Akatsuki, she showed an aptitude for medical ninjutsu and readily continued her medical training from the group's old head medic.

_Yahiko. __**Yahiko**_.

He couldn't be gone. He couldn't...

_Nagato! Konan!_ _I should have made Shinai say!_ I realized angrily, knowing the woman had fled the room as soon as I had dismissed her. _She didn't mention them,_ a part of my mind soothed.

_But she didn't say that they were okay, either_.

I held my daughter closer, biting my lip as names and words drifted through my mind.

Tsunade, as godmother, wanted the babe to be named for her. I wasn't going to saddle my daughter with the name of the greatest medic nin in history, so I had intended to provide a name that was similar but unique. Now, grieving for my student and afraid for another two, my daughter's name came to me in a moment of bitterness.

"Tsuya," I said aloud, tasting the word on my tongue. I rocked my daughter in my arms, speaking to her softly and wishing that I had a better name to give her. She deserved a blessed name, not a cursed one.

She deserved so, so much better.

"Tsuya..."

* * *

A/N:

Don't get too excited, I'm not totally back. I just realized that I left off at a bad spot last chapter and decided that you all deserve better. I am trying to get back into the process of writing and updating regularly (not that I was ever very good at updating...) so I'm giving you all _this_ as a sort of promise to come back to this.

For those of you who don't know, _tsuya_ is the Japanese practice of keeping vigil over the dead. Basically, family, friends, and acquaintances of the deceased watch over the body (and soul) for the entire night before the funeral service. I decided that Tsuya would be a good mix between appeasing godmother Tsunade, who would have killed to have the child name for her, and a way of Suki honoring Yahiko's death. It's a bitter moment but it is an important moment.

Sorry to end on such a sad note, but at least this part of the story is now resolved. I have ideas about what to do next but, in case you haven't noticed, I'm a sort of "go with the flow and see what happens" sort of writer. It doesn't always lead to coherent writings and it rarely leads to complicated ones but I've somehow convinced a few people to humor me, haven't I?

Thanks for reading!

Susie


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